08 Jul

I tell this story so that others may feel some comfort first in knowing that you are not alone in your illness. And, second I want to show some measure of how God has worked in this situation spiritually, physically and emotionally. I don't know how people get through that don't know Him.

I thought that I would recover from COVID and get back to my normal self. I was completely unprepared for the affects that it left on my body. 

About three weeks after I began having symptoms I suffered from cluster migraines, sometimes more than 1 cluster per day for 2 weeks. Medication helped, but there seemed to be this fog hovering over me. Then on the tail end of the migraines I broke out in a fine rash from head to toe. For six weeks I itched, scratched, took tepid Epsom salt baths; sometimes falling asleep while soaking. Weariness cloaked me. 

We planned a trip to see our son and his family the last week of October. The rash had finally abated. I thought that I was through it, on the other side. We made our trip as planned and returned home October 30, 2020. I was tired, but felt I would rest up and regain some stamina. 

Two days after we got back I woke up at 4:00 a.m. with tremors running up my legs then turning to muscle spasms. I was terrified. I had no clue what was going on. Those episodes lasted for two and a half hours. Those two and a half hours turned into 24/7, with stinging and burning on the top of my feet. I began the process of doctor appointments and trying to find a diagnosis and treatment.

So here's today's take away. Because there is light in all this gloom. 

On a sleepless night with severe pain, I finally grabbed a rain poncho and walked outside into a misty rain. The ground was wet and cold. It had rained enough previously to create puddles. As I stepped into that cool mud my feet were soothed. So I just prayed and stood in the mud. 

Once I got back into bed I read the names of God that I had hung on the wall next to my bed and drifted off to sleep to Casting Crowns 'Just Be Held'.  

There were times that I wondered if God could see me, if He heard my cries. I would say things like 'there must be a purpose in this'. What I can tell you is that God not only saw me and heard me, but He has a purpose for all of us. 

Jeremiah 29:11-14 says 'For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord , thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord , and I will bring you back from your captivity....

What God wants most is for us to seek Him with all our heart. Unfortunately sometimes we have to experience incredibly difficult circumstances to fully seek HIM with all our heart just for the sake of finding HIM. Let that sink in. Seek Him for the pure intimate relationship with Him.  If we do that, we will find Him. And that relationship will supersede the pain. He is just that real. Blessings....

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