21 Aug

I try not to post about my pain, or even talk about it. No one wants to hear that all the time. And I don't want to talk about it all the time. But there are moments that the dam is about to break, the flood gate will no longer hold all the emotions scrambling around in my brain. 

I had a particularly trying day. I had been up for several nights, not just being awake but wrestling with the muscle spasms, stinging and burning in my feet and the throbbing in my hip. It feels like I have worked 3 shifts in one night x3. 

The day was lonely. I wasn't depending on anyone to fix me. I just needed someone to be there, you know? I felt completely alone. I was standing in front of the kitchen sink washing dishes as hard as I could swapping from leg to leg because my frustration had turned into stubbornness and I was determined to bear through it. 

Elijah came home and asked what was wrong. Of could I told him the truth. "I'm fine"

He didn't buy it and finally drug out of me the most realistic rendition of Laura Petrie on the Dick Van Dyke Show as I sobbed my story to him. "I'm st...st...standing on the edge... of...of a cliff Uh Uh about to fall off and NO ONE IS EVEN LOOOOOKING!!"

He of course tried to console and calm me to no avail. I tucked myself in and like a child asked for one of the ladies in our church to come. 

There are times that we, like Elijah the prophet hear the still small voice instead of the booming answer of a storm or an earthquake, or the crackle of fire. 

That day I heard the still small voice of a dear sister in Christ who came and quietly talked with me and listened to my thoughts and views. God has just the person for the job when we need them. 

Please don't wait to call until you are falling off a cliff to call out. God is always present. But God also made us to need companionship. Rest assured if you call out to HIM he will come to your cries with what you need and more! He is greater than this.


* The email will not be published on the website.